(Mike Bundrant) Of course modern, mush-for-brains, walking dead zombies do not think they are victims of a zombie apocalypse. That’s the problem. Part of slipping into zombie-dom is missing the sad fact that it is happening.
You should be terrified of dulling out your mind! If your attitude is “Oh, yeah, heh heh, whatever I don’t think there’s a problem,” then it may be too late for you. This is perhaps the number one sign that your mind is half-baked.
Beyond that, please read the other signs below and pray it is not too late to save yourself.
1. You do not think you are at risk for becoming a mush-for-brains zombie.
As stated: this is the big one. You ARE at risk. Feel the fear and you will be safer.
2. You’ll take medication to solve problems that can be solved without medication.
Here is a list of 91 ways to gain inner peace quickly. If you are slipping away into utter zombie uselessness, you won’t be interested. Studying a long list of things and having to work at them will seem pointless to you.
If you are inclined toward zombie-dom, you’d prefer to pop a pill that will chill you out. When you have a headache or the sniffles, you can pop more pills. Oh, and if your kids act up, they have some great pills to dull them down. All that creative kid energy is a hassle!
3. You are overly impressed with people.
That’s right. Zombies are impressed with people who accomplish things in business or the arts or politics. If you are well-known in these circles, you are officially royalty for a zombie.
I’m not against being genuinely impressed or appreciating accomplishments. Zombies, however, are so impressed with popular people that they wax worshipful, following the lives of virtual strangers.
4. You don’t feel many emotions and even think this is a good thing.
Zombies are emotionally numb. If you are zombie potential, you don’t have strong feelings. You don’t get upset or outraged. You aren’t scared. You don’t experience deep melancholy or longing. You just go through life on auto-pilot, doing your duty and not making any waves. Somehow you think your numbness is good, as if you were “balanced” or something.
The truth is that your real identity has been captured, locked away and forgotten. Releasing the real you would feel like letting a starved tiger out of a steel cage – and boy is it pissed!
5. You have stopped learning.
Your real brain is curious and hungry for ongoing knowledge. Knowledge of the world, technology, culture, art, science, history, hobbies and pleasures of all kinds are waiting to be gobbled up. This longing to know and do more never ends.
The zombie no longer has a clue about this stuff.
6. You go along with the crowd.
What car should you drive? What about your food, clothing, vacation destination, home, political affiliation, religion, friends, and hobbies? How do you choose? Easy. Do what is most popular among the people you see around you.
That’s the zombie spirit! It takes thought and effort to learn your real, individual preferences. It takes character to be skeptical of the status quo. That’s too much work for a zombie.
7. You don’t laugh much.
When is the last time you saw a half-baked zombie belly laughing so hard he peed his pants?
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